The Path to Parenthood: Why Timing Matters

After nine months of trying for a baby without success, Christine Ong, 38, and Justin Chan, 39, booked a fertility check and it turned out to be a life-changing decision. The couple now share their lives with three little ones: Claire, 4, and twins Jonathan and Calista, both 2 years old.

We check in on Christine and Justin to find out more about their journey to parenthood.

Why We Wanted Children

Ask Justin, and he will joke that his dream has always been to be a band manager to little musicians who share his last name.

“I come from a family of three children, so three was the number I was prepared for. It was important to me to have both parent-child and sibling-sibling family dynamics.” Justin adds, “And with my music background, I’ve always entertained the remote possibility that my children could one day form a band with me as their band manager!”

Christine was mostly on the same wavelength, apart from the desire to form a merry band. She had simply hoped for a lively home. “From the start, we both pictured a bustling home with at least two children, maybe three if we were lucky.”

That said, in the early stages of their marriage, the couple chose to focus on their newlywed life and to build a firm foundation before growing their family.

The Journey of Trying to Conceive

After their honeymoon year wrapped up, they spent nine months trying for a baby and grappling with the repeated disappointment of negative pregnancy test results.

“We decided to see a gynaecologist, just to check if everything was alright,” shared Christine.

Their test results proved baffling—everything looked fine, yet pregnancy still wouldn’t happen. Being surrounded by baby announcements, they couldn’t help but be reminded of the gap between their dreams and reality.

Justin reflected, “Although we were one of the first (in our circles) to get married, our family and friends were all having children before us. I knew this shouldn’t affect me, but it did feel like we were falling behind. That was a motivating factor for us to get started on IVF.”

They were ready to accept help to fulfil their dream of becoming parents. 

Supportive Workplace

“Turning 30 was big for us, as we knew fertility can decline with age. My work was finally easing up, which meant I could manage more frequent medical appointments. We didn’t want to look back and wish we’d started sooner,” recalled Christine.

Support poured in from every corner. Christine’s boss met her IVF request with a “Why not?”. Colleagues backed her up on their work to help meet deadlines, and management signed off a month-long break when she needed to focus on treatment.

Justin’s office was equally supportive. With many of his colleagues being parents themselves, they supported him every step along the way. Their understanding and support allowed Justin to play an active role in their fertility journey, from ferrying Christine to scans to helping out with the IVF injections. 

“I was trained as a combat medic in National Service, and this gave me the confidence to administer injections and medications for Christine,” remarked Justin.

A Long and Winding Road to Success

Over the next three years, the IVF process ended up with more twists and turns than the couple expected: three miscarriages, two failed transfers and plenty of anxious moments.

“You understand that the chances of getting a good result are low, but you can’t help but be hopeful. There were days we felt on top of the world, and days we wondered if we could keep going. But through it all, we kept moving forward together,” Justin quipped. 

“We became a real team,” said Christine.

Car rides and needle schedules became second nature to Justin. They toasted every small victory, whether it was a reassuring scan or making it through a tough week. Reality-TV marathons (think The Bachelor and Survivor) doubled as distraction therapy.

Justin reflected, “I felt my role was to be fully present, not to be in ‘problem-solving mode’ all the time… I resolved to be the rock to remind her that she’s not in this alone.” 

Navigating Loss

After their third miscarriage, the couple was devastated. Justin suggested taking a break from treatments to focus on healing together. Allowing themselves time to grieve and not rush the next step helped them regain their strength.

“We leaned on each other, talking honestly about our grief and fears. Sometimes we just sat together in silence, knowing there were no words. Support from close friends and the Fertility Support SG community was also invaluable in helping us feel less alone,” Christine shared.

Receiving Gifts… Then Giving Back

After a short break and an adjustment in the treatment plan, coupled with traditional Chinese medicine, the sixth embryo transfer started positively.

Their eldest daughter began life as a twin; her sibling was, unfortunately, lost along the way. On the darkest days, Christine feared she would lose them both—but their little fighter held on and made it.

Everything changed the moment their daughter, Claire, arrived in 2021.

After years of “maybe” and “not yet”, finally having a baby of their own felt unreal. The couple couldn’t believe it for themselves until the nurse placed little Claire in their arms. Relief mixed with awe, and then the tears of joy came.

“Every injection, every negative result, every piece of bad news dissolved away. What remained was the coalescence of our hope. I looked down and thought, ‘You are worth everything to get you here,’” Justin mused.

They didn’t play the waiting game. After the four-year marathon to have Claire, they decided to use their remaining embryos sooner rather than later. Christine was 34, and they knew fertility only gets trickier past 35.

One and a half years later, a twin baby girl and boy came along, turning the family of three into a quintet. 

Christine shared, “Life became wonderfully chaotic! There’s always noise, laughter, and someone needing a cuddle or a scolding because they've been naughty. It's very tiring to juggle kids so close in age. But the best part is seeing our kids play together and knowing our home is full of the love and energy we dreamed of.”

On life with three little ones, Justin grins, “As a semi-serious joke, the best part of having a larger family with young children is that nice people will give way to us, help us keep the door open, and we can occupy a whole lift without inviting irk and ire.”

The family “band” he once dreamed of is already coming to fruition—just swap guitars for saucepan lids and drumsticks for spoons!

“I am learning to let go of things needing to be in pristine condition. Our floor and furniture are scratched from frequent contact with toys. Some things get accidentally dented, broken, torn, or thrown away, and I need to remind myself that all of this is part and parcel of the children exploring the world around them.”

For Justin, the daily din is proof that the home and his heart are happily full.

Pay It Forward: Check Early

Christine now volunteers with Fertility Support SG, a charity comprising mainly volunteers that seeks to raise awareness of fertility issues, offers peer support, practical tips and a listening ear to couples navigating infertility. Justin is a content creator and hopes to launch a dedicated YouTube channel for would-be parents to share about being an involved father.

Summing up everything, Christine shared, “If we’d waited for everything to be perfect, we might still be waiting. So, if you’ve been trying and things don’t seem to be going well, don’t be shy. Get checked early, find out your options, and let hope start working.” 

Published in Aug 2025